Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
