I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
