he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
