Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
