We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
