my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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