I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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