would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
