um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
