Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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