Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
