dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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