i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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