she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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