the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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