Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
