I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
