I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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