Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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