I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
