I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
