Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
