I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
