glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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