Nicole vs. Life
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
