ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
