And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
