Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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