I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
