I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Randomize
