come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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