Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
do herpes really smell.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
