4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I cannot find my penis.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it was like eating out sand paper
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
