So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
