Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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