wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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