he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My ass is underappreciated
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize