I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
