I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
