If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
