I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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