Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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