I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
