she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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