I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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