I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so let's talk penis.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
