Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
