Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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