I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
this will be a night to untag.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
