take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize