I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
