Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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