well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
