God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
