take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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