ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize