oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
