is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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