dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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