i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
