you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
