You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
