I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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