she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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