I love black thongs
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
