if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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